Broken Lights

I took the name and URL of this blog from a few stanzas from Tennyson.

Our little systems have their day;
They have their day and cease to be:
They are but broken lights of thee,
And thou, O Lord, are more than they.

Perplext in faith but pure in deeds
At last he beat his music out
There lives more faith in honest doubt
Believe me, than in half the creeds.

These two stanzas have come to epitomize my views on Mormonism and religion in general throughout the process of coming to terms with my sexual orientation and attempting to reconcile my religious beliefs with my personal experience. I believe that the first step in approaching spiritual matters (and all matters, really) is to begin with recognizing the limits of our own understanding and questioning all of our assumptions about the world.

The motif of searching for truth is ever present in Mormon dialogue, but I am doubtful of how often it is actually pursued. Many seem to be satisfied with a few spiritual experiences, without really question deeply their assumptions on what those spiritual experiences mean or how they relate to their world view. I guess I can only speak for myself, and that was very much how I've approached faith in the past.

The problem with that method is that I've found it produces a lot of harms. I feel like a lot of church culture has become works-oriented and shame-producing. There are many negative harms to which we simply turn a blind eye rather than truly questioning our motivations, methods, and the consequences of our beliefs.

Our system, I believe, is a broken light. I believe that all institutionalized systems are. My purpose in this blog is to write through and express my thoughts about religion and spirituality, and especially about homosexuality and Mormonism. I love discussing, so if anyone disagrees or has anything to say, feel free to leave a comment or to contact me.